my journey

on becoming who you are

June 7, 2021 / , , ,

become-who-you-are

 

in times of turmoil – which recently seem to be accurate every day more, than the day before – in our private lives, with our families, in our neighbourhoods, communities, in our organisations, in our leadership roles in the world – what stories we choose to put on stage matters a great deal.
working in the field of social innovation, often i deal with realities just emerging, realities that have a breath ago been not more but a dream, realities fragile, incomplete, not consequent. yet – they want to become, they are becoming, they prototype well and they inspire hearts with hope.

a story does not need to be big, or perfect, or ready. what is sufficient is that YOU decide it is time.

take our LEADERSHIP FESTIVAL. there are sufficient people who say:
“it will not work”
“you do not really know, what you are talking about”
“this is all a fantasy, a phase, it will pass. business reality are hard facts and results”

well, i have the freedom to choose and believe whatever the heck i want to. and i choose to believe, that we ARE actually designing a NEW way of relating to each other from our leadership positions. and all them, who say it is just a fairy-tale for the naÏve ones i say “it is called visionary”.

now more than ever it is important, which stories you listen to and which you voice. which you repeat to yourself. which you share with others. and which stories you put to sleep, leave in the storage, tell them it is not their time.

so no matter how challenging it is to hold your dearest story out there, for the world to see, in all the beauty of its imperfection – i stand here with you. shoulder to shoulder. i ain’t going nowhere. whenever you feel, like the world is too much or the challenges too many, remember: you curate your own story. decide what you focus on and what you kick out. pick the story you want to live. pick the story that is YOU in your best version. get ready. go out there. and dance with the world.

dreaming – on a warsaw-berlin train.

June 7, 2021 / , , , , , ,

about me too sweet

 

 

dear c,

i dreamt you came to collect me, to take my position as a shaman of our tribe.
we were just in the middle of some simulation on four green heights, each of them covering a different leadership style / space / realm, with people devoted to it and the one who lead them, or rather represented and had the decision power. we were preparing for something of big significance. a kind of event which would require all styles and all people involved – all using their best potentials.
i saw you on the shamanic height. i was standing on the threshold, the height you enter to look around and comprehend. and move on. i was standing there for quite a while now. not knowing whether i will participate. you saw me and i saw you. we both nodded in the acknowledgement of the other’s presence. standing there i was looking at the other heights, still unable to distinguish anything.
you approached me. and nodded again. this time it was a nod of calling. i knew why you came, but i let time pass. i was not convinced. i couldn’t sense the ultimate answer in me. you were convinced this is the right course of things and i felt how peaceful this certainty was. i retreated into me, to hear my song. to listen if i will be able to find it. to be in the space where the song is. and check if it will be there this time around. and if yes – what does it tell.
i knew it would. i felt it. but i also felt other songs. songs that wanted to seduce me with their rhythm. others that wanted to cover mine, intimidate it with their beauty. convince me that i will never be able to create any beauty complete enough myself. that i do not carry enough beauty in me. i swam through their seaweeds letting them slide on my body and knowing they have no power to catch me, to break me to stop. with time and kindness on my side i swam to find my song…

 

 

 
dear k,

obviously you are a shaman connected to a system matrix. the only BUT: i do not think it is a dream about our community. why do i think that? remember the other time i run social dreaming matrix? the basic assumption of the method is that dreams belong to a community, and shall not be interpreted as relating to a single individual (for they are not their property, the person is more a medium conveying a message of significance). back to the beginning – why do i think the dream came to you now and why do you bring it to me? you brought it on the 75. anniversary of german invasion on poland (now you have goosebumps) why was i in your dream? because in the same time i was doing a huge relational german-polish work, dealing with victims and perpetrators. it was the last day of the residential, wonderful and horrifying things happened during previous days. the only way i could cope with it was by switching my polish identity with a german (some german blood runs in the family). i was thinking of you a lot, remembering you when talking to people from berlin, potsdam, munich. a pole with a dual identity, transitional object. you were not participating in the conference and at the same time you were.
one of the things i understood about germans was their incredible fear of leadership. such that even the sheer vision of it was causing a paranoid freeze, that this could happen again, that “leadership is an extremely dangerous thing”. i met germans who – by choice – have been freelancers the past 40 years, as they are too scared to hire people, whom they would have to be the boss of and it is so painful to them, they would rather put the chains on themselves.  
i saw germans, third generation after WWII still so lost in the fog of war, 75 years past. not just a bit, but to an extend where it defines their lives, the decisions they make and roles they choose. i saw germans crying and raising to their feet with terror as the siren, that always marks september 1. in poland, went off.
i saw german women crying for their mothers and grandmothers who lost them not-knowingly, drawing the vail of silence over the events of war, making it now impossible to still the need for reparation and understanding. i leant that war mothers wanted a better life for their daughters and sons and this is what silenced them. but one shall not be silent. not about trauma. the jews, who know the circle way, have understood it a long time ago.
but jews have a different problem in this polarity. i understood, that after holocaust they promised to themselves never to face defeat again. never again to be a victim. did you know they also never told their children? but with a different reason entirely… shame. they would have to explain why they did not run away, fight, why they did let themselves be killed in such a cruel way. you cannot explain those things to a child. so they remained silent. they did however create an army. an army which will never loose a battle, stop at nothing, where each captain says “gyy myr!” which means “follow me!”. this army is not capable of stopping bombarding palestine, not capable of stopping the killing, it simply cannot.

this and many other songs were sung.

you will be needed.

why audio?

June 7, 2021 / ,

wildberries
i get a lot of feedback, that you guys enjoy the recordings. that is great to hear! i love making them :) i have to admit, i did not plan to make an audio-blog, it just kinda happened. but the truth is – i love recording (e.g. audiobooks) and there is a part of me, which never really accepted that i quit the radio…

picking up the story from the “about me” page…
….i also really wanted to work in the radio. a late-night storytelling/music show preferably. i mean – who would not want that? a perfect marriage of the introvert and the social exhibitionist in me. while studying in warsaw i went to my – back then – favourite radio-station’s open day. polish radio programme III seemed like a dream, unreal and definitely out of reach. i grew up listening to it with my parents, then at the beginning of my teenage time. it was this radio-station, which brought me grunge, having me sitting breathless in front of the speakers… and suddenly years went by in a second and i was there. inside the building. witnessing the atmospheric concert-hall, glass-walls between the news-room and the technician, the microphones and turn-tables. the guy in the studio asked the visitors – “would anybody like to record a short sample of their voice, just to see how it feels?” oh, you bet i did. my whole body was shaking, but – heavens above! – i made it to the other side of the glass wall, sat in front of the microphone… it felt blissful. it felt RIGHT. ten seconds felt like years. phantasy having a feast, spinning all the scenarios i never dared to dream of…
he told me “you should come back here one day”. it took me less than a year to get an internship there. i spent three months job-shadowing people in reportage team, news department (getting up before 4am in winter in poland – that’s a hard one!) and then – yes, also in my favourite music show…
i have to admit this short affair with the media was rather disillusioning though. but i still remember the joy when friends would call me, saying “i heard you on the radio! now haven’t i?”

i am happy to be playing with audio and voice more and more. and start sharing it. a part of me has always been missing it. now it looks like i’m finding a way (or a way is finding me).
what secret dreams do you still have? what wants to get out to the open? maybe it knows a way?

this time an audio of crickets, from the beskids mountains on a summer night…

third recording – 14. august 2014 – babia góra, poland

July 20, 2021 / , , , , , , , ,

babia

 

 

this one has been taken hiking up the highest peak of beskids, on the polish-slovak boarder, on a sunny summer day. you can certainly hear me walking up the mountain… but you can also hear the beautiful birds and rivers.

this time the recording is in english….

 

 

a word to the parts:

– “territory one” is searching for the definition

 

 

 

– “territory two” is on how territory is created based on our values. it is the first social metaphor* i present here.

 

 

 

– “territory three” is a short and sweet one on the pain of coming up with new insights

 

* social metaphors
here i work with both, the dictionary understanding of a metaphor (a metaphor as a phrase that describes a subject by asserting that it is, on some point of comparison, the same as another otherwise unrelated object) as well a situation, in which one incident triggers an exploration of what’s behind and on the meta level, and so helps one understand a broader context, also work through challenges in a creative and non-linear way.

second recording – 29. may 2014 – santander, spain

June 7, 2021 / , , , ,

 

santander

 

this one, again in polish, is about strength. the strength you find in yourself, when others tell you: do not do it, it is not worth it, it will not work out. and you do not listen to them, but try it instead.

i am one who will always rather test and prototype. i just HAVE TO find out “what would happen, if”. i could not settle for “it probably would not have worked out”. i know no-one knows for sure. and i let my curiosity lead me. and yes, it does come at a price. i would never say it doesn’t. but this price i am willing to pay. for i always see a beauty in where it gets me. one i would not like to miss.

 

 

first recording – 28. may 2014 – santander, spain

June 7, 2021 / , , , , ,

 atlantyk

 

jogging at the atlantic coast, out of breath, with wind in my hair and sandy dunes under feet, i started recording the stories i have been rehearsing in my head for so long. i know all of them already, so i guess i was rehearsing them for you : ) here we go…

the first and second recordings are in polish, the third one is in english.

 

 

(the short story in the first one, for non-polish speakers, is on how i was not born where i was meant to lead my life. for so many reasons.)

first post.

June 7, 2021 / , , , , , , ,

i am starting this blog, because despite 15 years in the business of supporting team-work, deep dialogue and transformation i still get perplex by the question “who is your typical customer?”. i just recently realised that i have maybe been searching for the answer in the wrong places. seems like for me is not a sector, a type of company or a position in organisational hierarchy. it is rather the WHO, then the WHAT, relating to a complete person. i am best in working with brave people, curious ones, committed to what they do, who are tempted to go new ways and experiment, taking the risk of failing at points along the way.
my experience shows they do not “grow” certain places, but are distributed all over – in start-ups, large corporations, family businesses, networks of professionals or coincidental coffee places. so there is no one place you would go to, if you wanted to meet them. and yes, they are a gem to find. i think – to a certain extend so am i. i never worked in a large company and never belonged to any formal association of professionals. this makes me difficult to find. still, i am an entrepreneur through and through, with two companies in two countries and a couple of communities i am an active member of, and a strong international network. i know people appreciate my presence and work, when they get a chance to meet me in real life. but to a certain extend – i have to admit – i was keeping myself an offline secret. now i want to be easier to find, because i deeply wish to work more with the people and in settings, where i can put my true best into action. it is time to get out of the closet. time to get out into the world.

 

this blog is created with you in mind: people with whom and for whom i want to work, colleagues, fellow makers & social activists, other fellow humans, captivated by reflecting about the world we create.